Smiley Santa Foyle

For Prompt this, if you dare challenge: I was hoping to come up with something absurd, but I guess my mind’s gears don’t grind that way. My three tags/posts are: Naked Santa, Smiley Face and Foyle’s War


Rhonda let out a little giggle, and with a bright smile that spread from ear to ear, took out the silly naked Santa Claus doll from the box of the other odd-ball Christmas decorations and tree ornaments. So many happy memories were attached to this funny little guy. (more…)

Oh, Scotland, my (ancestral) Scotland…Ireland and England, for that matter

Clan Rose Hunting Tartan

Clan Rose Hunting Tartan

I don’t know all that much about my mother’s ancestry except to say, from what I’ve been told, there is some English, but mostly Irish, and then, mostly Northern. So is much of my father’s ancestry on his mother’s side, Irish that is, but in his case, mostly Catholic. And then there is my father’s linage; my “sire-ship,” which is entirely Scottish. Highland clan, Scottish.

Clan Rose was sometimes in favor of unity with England, and sometimes in favor of independence. You get wishy-washy like that, you best be praising the good Lord there eventually was a place called “the new world” to run away to (other than France, I assume). To make matters more complicated for me, my father was a total and complete anglophile.

To say that I am feeling every one of my recently past relatives and our mutual ancestors turning in their graves, and, that I’m feeling very, very multiple personality-like tonight, would be accurate. I literally don’t know which way to turn.

So, I thank the Great Whomever that I ended up a multi-generational, died-in-the-wool colonialist. Otherwise, today’s vote for Scotland to secede or not to secede would be a very difficult tug-o-war to have to endure. If Scotland stays with Mother England, whatever. It seemed to work, one way or the other, for not only the past 300 years, but off-and-on before that. If they do split, well, all I can say, as an American, is…it will be rough at first, and probably for a good long while, but you’ll get the hang of it. Eventually.

Sound and fury, signifying nothing

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” — Gertrude Stein

trig bk vs tx instIn high school, we had an Algebra/Trigonometry teacher that skipped entire chapters of a text book after showing us how to perform the formulas described therein on our calculators (those outrageously complicated Texas Instruments gadgets, for those who might recall). His contention was that there was no reason any longer to have to learn how to calculate formulas, now that they could so easily be done on a calculator. Unfortunately, especially for a teacher, he was someone who fully embraced the grand notion of the complete functionality of artificial intelligence, and in doing so, completely disregarded the point that without the ability to understand how something works, you never really possess the knowledge. (more…)

Prompt this, if you dare

Disney's "The Three Caballeros"

Disney’s “The Three Caballeros”

Let’s try an absurd version of blogging prompts. Take your three, or so, most searched posts, that is, the posts on your blog that have been tagged or categorized in such a way that people looking for particular information tend to land on your post. Write/photograph, etc., a post that fuses those three or so tags.

For example, the search phrases that frequently land people on my blog and the posts related to them are: Smiley Face, Foyle’s War and Naked, or Nude Santa. Now, I wrote about the peculiarities of all of this in a couple of posts (Google Says… and Dear L “Abby” Rose), but, this time I thought it would be really fun to throw these searchers for a complete loop by drafting a single post that didn’t just mention these three things, but wrapped them all together in a weird and decidedly warped post (because, how else would those three come together?)

This is NOT a one-day challenge! Take your time. If you don’t want to post your work of Alice-in-Wonderland-Weirdness (or, maybe you are able to make beautiful sense of your conjoined search terms) then email it to me and I’ll “reblog” on my blog (lr.fictional.blog@gmail.com). I’ll even keep your post anonymous if you wish. Please keep away from truly awful violence, sex (unless it’s funny, of course, then, by all means), and writing every other word as a curse. Even “damn” said 500x too many can get boring.

I wrote mine: Smiley Santa Foyle. It didn’t end up being weird at all, but then my mind doesn’t quite work that way. But it was fun! You post/send yours whenever, just be sure to link/pingback to this post so I can update/reblog, etc.

Game? Hope so!

There’s always something else that needs doing

Once upon a time,
there was a woman who wrote down a list of five things
she wished to accomplish in her life.
She made plans, saved money, asked for time off from work,
and then set out to cross off these things on her list.

She climbed mountains, swam in oceans, and crossed valleys.
She met artists, sat with philosophers, attended colleges and gave comfort to the needy.
She drank the finest wines, tripped the light fantastic, flirted with handsome men,
learned of the old ways by caring crones and great grandfathers,
sang in the sun and bayed at the moon.

And then, when it was all said and done,
she went home and collapsed on the couch.
She was exhausted.

Flaming June flames out

Other list prompts and posts:
Live life well | Vices of others | Just stick your nose in that | Just an earthbound misfit, I

Spite and Malice

You’re sitting at a café when a stranger approaches you. This person asks what your name is, and, for some reason, you reply. The stranger nods, “I’ve been looking for you.” What happens next?

lavendar eyes“Oh, well,” I said playfully. “You most certainly did! Here I am.”

I was beaming at a short and very slight girl who couldn’t have been more than 13 or 14 years old. She was probably the most striking beauty I’d have ever seen, in a man or woman. Her jet black hair hung straight down past her waist and seemed to glow in a ruby-red jewel tone. There was not a blemish on her stunningly dark and perfectly formed heart shaped face; not a line, or even an expression, for that matter. Her eyes were boldly outlined by short, thick black lashes, perfectly arched brows, and her eyes were a deep lavender with bright flecks of garish gold. I’d never seen anything like it.

“Yes, I did.” she plainly stated.

I waited, transfixed, and utterly confused.

“May I sit with you?” She asked.

“Of course,” I gestured somewhat grandly to the chair opposite me. She took the seat, leaned a little bit forward over the table with her hands in her lap, and stared intently at me. I didn’t move a muscle. (more…)

Over the Hill and Through the Valley

over 40 b-day“SURPRISE!!” everyone yelled as Dave walked in the front door of his parents’ home. His girlfriend of just over a year was beaming a bright and hopeful smile at him as she clung to his arm, and his step mother roughly drew his face down to give him a big, motherly kiss and a pat on the cheek. His stupid half-brother Jake was standing back a little ways, hands shoved in his pockets, trying to look happy. What a twit, Dave thought. What a goddamned twit.

“Oh, wow, guys…” Dave feigned as much surprise and confusion as he could without being too fake about it. “This, is…wow. Hoooly crap! I’m….”

“Are you surprised, babe?!” Tracy stretched up on her toes to give him a kiss, still beaming. She was such a sweet and honest woman. Nothing blue or crazy about her. Dave could kill his brother for nearly ruining the whole thing. (more…)